Sunday    04.08.2013
  60km Total: 1121km   791km

We get breakfast before checking out and head for the Autozug terminal in Hamburg.

I made a few minor navigational errors along the way, some of which I blame the GPS for but the rest where on me.
With the long days at the festival and lack of sleep my performance level wasn't exactly stellar.

Even though we where early to the check in the open it up just a quarter of an hour after our arrival and soon after we meet a bunch of Swedes who on four brand new KTM 1190:s where going down to the alps.
So we park up and sit down at a café to talk to them.

They obviously liked to joke around with each other because one of them was telling another something about vagabonding currents and that you had to disconnect the battery after riding onto the train.
I though it smelled a bit like bullshit and sure enough he eventually broke down laughing after almost convincing the other guy that he had to do it.

While we drank coffee and stocked up on food the Autozug staff have secured straps to our bikes so that when we ride onto the train (which is a very strange experience) we can just leave the bikes to be strapped down and wait for the sleeper cars.
German ordnung at its finest.

On-board we're sharing our cabin with a North-German farmer and his wife.
Because of the language barrier we couldn't really talk to them but we at least traded the usual pleasantries in Germlish.

Both me and the Bear almost fell asleep where we sat since we where still pretty beat by the days on the festival but we at least managed to get to the restaurant car and got some supper before there was a mutual decision made that it was time for lights out in our cabin.

Unfortunately though, the lady had asthma and it was an absolute demand that the window in the cabin had to be open.
That window was located just a few decimetres from my feet so it pretty much felt like I had my feet out the window but the worst part was undoubtedly when we passed another train, the howling noise was loud as a blitzkrieg.

But with the previous sleep depravation and a good set of earplugs I think I at least got a few hours.

Autozug

You really have to keep your head down riding onto the train.

It isn't exactly luxurious but it's still a good way to get through Germany.

Monday    05.08.2013
  380km Total: 1501km

The lady in the loudspeakers wakes us up at 6AM and right after the train staff delivers a light breakfast.
The train arrives a bit late in Bolzano right after 8AM (who the hell needs two hours to get ready when you're stuck on a train?).

When we've gotten our bikes off the train we immediately set course for the mythical Stelvio Pass which has so much notoriety that the domestic manufacturer Moto Guzzi named one of their models after it.
The roads and views are just getting more and more spectacular the closer we're getting and we stop and get an early lunch at Hotel Post along the way.

Considering the fee on Grossglockner we both thought it pretty obvious that this would be a toll road, that fact that it isn't was pretty obvious after going through the first dozen hairpins without passing a toll both.
It was of course nice not needing to pay to ride here but the fact that is was free was pretty obvious by the traffic density and the state of the road so I wasn't all positive and the RVs I learned to hate in Norway was unfortunately plentiful.

There really was only two kinds of riders, the ones riding very slow (like me) and the ones practicing for the Pikes Peak Hillclimb.
A lot of the time I just wanted to close my eyes so I didn't have to see the horrific accident that seemed completely inevitable with some of the overtaking done by our biking brethren.

Going into one of the first hairpins the RV I was trailing behind sought it best to stop right in the middle of the corner which is obviously a pretty easy thing to do if you have four wheels or more.
But on two wheels in a steep hill climb and leaning in a corner it's a matter of horsepower vs gravity.
Loose one and the other wins which is what happens when you have to grab a handful of front brake mid corner.
I fought the law of gravity and the law won.

So there I was lying flat on my back in the middle of a hairpin on Stelvio but the only thing that had suffered any mentionable damage was my ego.
With the bike actually sloping down, picking it up wasn't going to be easy but fortunately a few lads in an Alfa rose to the challenge when I with hand signals pointed first at the bike, then at them and then made a lifting motion.
The only damage to the bike was a few scrapes on the crash bar and a dent in the pannier.
It's nice knowing that all the crap I've put on the bike isn't just for show so I guess I owe a bit of gratitude towards SW Motech for making gear that actually does the job.

That episode obviously affected my view on the pass overall because in my view it's just the sort of tourist trap I though Trollstigen in Norway was supposed to be.
Stelvio was completely riddled with incompetent drivers, the road standard was pretty poor and at the top there was a whole village with trinkets and souvenirs (I'll admit it, I bought a t-shirt and some stickers so I'm not exactly helping).
It didn't really live up to my high set expectations, after all Jeremy Clarkson at one point called it the best road... in the world.

I had set a route from Bolzano to Milano in Basecamp before we left to try and get as many fun roads as possible during the day as this day would be a pure transport stage anyway and just by pure luck I'd gotten the Mortirolo pass in the route.
It was the highlight of the day and it's judging by it's praise what Stelvio should have been but wasn't
Without a doubt one of the most enjoyable rides of my life with a perfect mix of hairpins, long sweeping curves and straightaways through an amazing forest.
Or as Doro would have put it: Fantastich!

We went over another pass before heading out onto the Autostrada towards Milano and again we're being punished for lack of preparation because after just 10kms we get to a toll both.
A barrier, a terminal that only "speaks" Italian and no staff in sight.

After trying our best to no avail all of a sudden the barrier rises (I still don't know why) and we make the rash decision to ride through.
Rash because just 30kms later there's another toll where (we know now that) we needed receipts from the previous one.

This terminal also just wanted to speak Italian so I pushed a button called help and eventually a female voice came through the speaker... in Italian.
Her English was limited to the phrases "Where you from?" and "Take the ticket!", the last phrase was repeated with a gradual increase in volume as if she though a ticket would magically appear if she just managed to hit the right decibel.
Eventually the barrier rose so she either grew tired of the stupid Swede who couldn't create a ticket from thin air or they withdrew a fortune from the Visa-card I put in the machine five times, I guess time will show.
By now some staff has shown up, alas we're saved!
But no... no speaka english.
He still got the Bear through with his Visa-card so we could ride on to Best Western St George in Milano.

We park up on the sidewalk at the hotel and check in, sweaty bikers after a pretty rough day who probably looked like we've been to hell and back was probably not a common occurrence at this establishment but after the initial chock the portiere was more helpful.

We asked about the secure parking that was the main reason that we choose this hotel.
Parking motorbikes in a garage was a completely unheard of phenomenon for this guy so he actually called the garage to make sure it was all right (which it was).
He apologized that the pickup-service was just for cars (I wouldn't have let anyone ride my bike anyway and I'm sure the Bear has the same opinion).
But that meant we had to ride to the garage and walk back 1.5kms in full gear in 34°C, I was sweating so bad I almost passed out.

At the garage he tells us that it is illegal for us to lock the bikes, we weren't even allowed to engage the steering lock which felt really uneasy.
I don't think I would have gotten a single krona from my insurance company if they knew the bike was unlocked but he assured us that even people who rode Harley Davidsons left them unlocked.
That Harley-riders with the plethora of motorcycle brands available perhaps aren't the greatest decisionmakers wasn't a debate I was willing to have with the person who would be responsible for my most prised possession for two days so we accepted the circumstances and headed back to the hotel.

It was so warm for the better part of the day that at the end I was almost slipping on the handlebars because I was sweating so bad.
The shower at the hotel felt like one of the most needed in my life.
Afterwards we hit the town in hunt of supper and end up at a place called Mama Rosa.
What we didn't realize when we entered was that this was a pretty posh place with white tablecloths and linen napkins.
A glass of rosé whine appeared from nowhere along with starters we hadn't ordered, more bread than a whole bakery and more staff than guests but the prices where surprisingly acceptable considering that the available options at this time of night where few and far between.

I ate veal á la Milano with tomatoes and a beer.
I know I am supposed to drink wine in Italy but I couldn't bring myself to it just yet.
Both the food and the beer was excellent but considering we hadn't eaten since lunch and it was now about 10PM I guess pretty much any warm food and a cold beer would be heaven on earth.

It had been a very long day so after supper we went straight back to the hotel.

  

A train full of toys.

Forza Stelvio!

This guy obviously had more balls than common sense.

Mortirolo pass, sublime riding.

Tuesday    06.08.2013 

We where pretty beat since yesterday so we sleep in until 9AM and dig in on the breakfast buffet before hitting town with temperatures that almost made the skin sizzle.

We hadn't made any grand plans for Milano, it just happened to be within a practical distance of Stelvio but the Milan Cathedral seemed like the obvious destination.

On the way we cool ourselves with some ice cream.
This being Italy they thankfully had sorbet so at least I'd only have to worry about the brain freeze and not any violent repercussions from my milk-sensitive stomach.
The lemon sorbet was both soothing and delicious.

The Duomo turned out to be the only major tourist attraction we saw in Milano but I have no regrets, it is without a doubt the most magnificent building I've been in (and on).
You feel pretty humbled in a building with a roof height of 65 meters.
Since we usually only manage to do just a few things per town on our trips I persuaded the Bear to go all in on the Duomo and we got every option in the catalogue including the crypt and the extortionate entry fee of €12 to get on the roof which turned out to be worth every single cent.

We had planned to visit the Santa Maria del á Grazie to see Da Vincis The last supper mural but upon arrival it turned out that they didn't accept more visitors that day even though it was well before closing time as they where "fully booked".
How a mural can be fully booked is beyond my understanding but then again I'm not Italian.

From there we make our way back to the shopping district surrounding the Duomo and stumbles upon a Ferrari-store where you can amongst other things can buy yourself a pushbike for the bargain price of €13500.

When we got tired of (window)shopping we sat down outside a restaurant overlooking the Cathedral which completely destroys the town hall at Mariannenplatz in Munich as the best view I've ever had over a dinner.
The Bear did as one should and ordered a pizza but I couldn't bring myself to it since the main ingredients of an Italian style pizza is mozzarella and olives.
Mozzarella I can't have because I'm allergic and I hate olives with such a passion I might as well be allergic to those too.
So instead I got roast beef with salad and tomatoes.
I'm not usually very fond of tomatoes but these where delicious (placebo-tomatoes?).
We broke the most expensive beer record by paying €9 for a bottle of domestic but considering the view it was worth it.

We picked up a few beers at a convenience store on the way back to the hotel where we planned for the next leg of the trip and booked the hotels for Venice and Ljubljana.

 

Duomo

The stuff of nightmares. A statue by Marco d'Agrate showing St Bortolomeus wearing his skinned flesh as a toga.

The catacombs

Roof of the Duomo, It's amazing how much detail they put into things that aren't even seen under normal circumstances.

Castello Sforza

Impressive trick and it sure doesn't look very comfortable.

That's why Schumi lost races, he simply ran out of coins!

The best view I've ever had over a meal.